Johnny John
The Best in the West
About Me
The Best in the West
About Me
Professional Gun Slinger
Name’s Johnny John. Some call me a legend. Most call me when things get complicated. I’m a professional gun slinger—licensed in lead, fluent in sarcasm, and faster than Wi-Fi in a Motel 6.
I don’t shoot first. I just shoot better. Whether it’s bandits, bad contracts, or business deals gone south, I bring precision, grit, and just the right amount of dramatic slow motion.
Born with a six-shooter in one hand and a strong cup of black coffee in the other, I’ve been outdrawing problems since ’97… 1897 or 1997? I ain’t sayin’.
So if you need someone who walks the walk, talks the talk, and occasionally rides into town on a Tuesday just to stir things up—well, I reckon I’m your huckleberry.
Mission Statement
Services
🔫 Services Offered by Johnny John
“If it needs doing, I’ll do it with style… and possibly a dramatic hat tilt.”
💥 Quick-Draw Consulting
Need to make fast decisions in high-stakes situations? I’ll teach you how to draw conclusions faster than a sneeze in a sandstorm.
🎯 Precision Deal Slayin’
Negotiations gone south? I step in, shoot the bull, and walk away with the best deal on the table — and maybe their table too.
🤠 Old West Branding Audits
Your image feelin’ more “cow pie” than cowboy? I’ll fine-tune your brand so sharp it’ll cut through LinkedIn like a knife through cornbread.
📜 Duel Mediation & Conflict Resolution
Before you go full Hatfield & McCoy, call Johnny. I’ll settle your beef with words... or an intense stare.
🌵 Desert Survival Workshops
Learn how to survive in business and the badlands — hydration optional, hustle required.
🎥 Cinematic QR Code Introductions
Why shake hands when you can make an entrance? Scan my code, and I’ll hit you with a dynamic video intro cooler than a whiskey chaser on a Sunday morning.
🕶️ Sass & Swag Coaching
Walk into any room like it’s a saloon and you own it. I’ll show you how to talk slick, move smooth, and leave ‘em wondering who the hell was that?
Why Choose Us
Certificates/Licenses
FAQ's
1: Q: Are you a real gun-slinger or just cosplaying Clint Eastwood on casual Fridays?
A: Both. I shoot deals and shoot the breeze. I’ve got quicker hands than a cat meme on TikTok and a squint that could stop a boardroom in its tracks.
Q: Do you still carry live ammo?
A: Only in negotiations. And by ammo, I mean sarcasm, witty one-liners, and the occasional business card shaped like a bullet.
Q: What exactly do you do?
A: I slay inboxes, crush awkward small talk, and shoot straight when it comes to business. Whether it’s closing deals or shutting down nonsense, I’m your huckleberry.
Q: Can I hire you for protection?
A: Only from bad branding, boring pitches, and outdated paper business cards. If it’s actual danger, you better call someone with a badge—or a lawyer.
Q: What’s your hourly rate?
A: I don’t do hourly. I do legendary. My rate is "worth every penny," payable in cash, crypto, or a bottle of aged whiskey.
Q: Are you available for children’s parties?
A: Only if the piñata is an outlaw and there’s a root beer saloon. And even then, I don’t do balloon animals. I do drama.
Q: How fast is your draw?
A: Let’s just say I once beat someone in a duel before they challenged me.
Q: What’s your biggest weakness?
A: Puppies. And maybe karaoke. But mostly puppies.
2D Video Explainer
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Why I Don’t Use Business Cards — I Just Shoot My Info Into the Air
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Resume
Experience
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Ready When You Are
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