Johnny John
The Best in the West
About Me
The Best in the West
About Me
Professional Gun Slinger
Nameās Johnny John. Some call me a legend. Most call me when things get complicated. Iām a professional gun slingerālicensed in lead, fluent in sarcasm, and faster than Wi-Fi in a Motel 6.
I donāt shoot first. I just shoot better. Whether itās bandits, bad contracts, or business deals gone south, I bring precision, grit, and just the right amount of dramatic slow motion.
Born with a six-shooter in one hand and a strong cup of black coffee in the other, Iāve been outdrawing problems since ā97ā¦ 1897 or 1997? I aināt sayinā.
So if you need someone who walks the walk, talks the talk, and occasionally rides into town on a Tuesday just to stir things upāwell, I reckon Iām your huckleberry.ļ»æ
Mission Statement
Services
š« Services Offered by Johnny John
āIf it needs doing, Iāll do it with styleā¦ and possibly a dramatic hat tilt.ā
š„ Quick-Draw Consulting
Need to make fast decisions in high-stakes situations? Iāll teach you how to draw conclusions faster than a sneeze in a sandstorm.
šÆ Precision Deal Slayinā
Negotiations gone south? I step in, shoot the bull, and walk away with the best deal on the table ā and maybe their table too.
š¤ Old West Branding Audits
Your image feelinā more ācow pieā than cowboy? Iāll fine-tune your brand so sharp itāll cut through LinkedIn like a knife through cornbread.
š Duel Mediation & Conflict Resolution
Before you go full Hatfield & McCoy, call Johnny. Iāll settle your beef with words... or an intense stare.
šµ Desert Survival Workshops
Learn how to survive in business and the badlands ā hydration optional, hustle required.
š„ Cinematic QR Code Introductions
Why shake hands when you can make an entrance? Scan my code, and Iāll hit you with a dynamic video intro cooler than a whiskey chaser on a Sunday morning.
š¶ļø Sass & Swag Coaching
Walk into any room like itās a saloon and you own it. Iāll show you how to talk slick, move smooth, and leave āem wondering who the hell was that?
Why Choose Us
Certificates/Licenses
FAQ's
1: Q: Are you a real gun-slinger or just cosplaying Clint Eastwood on casual Fridays?
A: Both. I shoot deals and shoot the breeze. Iāve got quicker hands than a cat meme on TikTok and a squint that could stop a boardroom in its tracks.
Q: Do you still carry live ammo?
A: Only in negotiations. And by ammo, I mean sarcasm, witty one-liners, and the occasional business card shaped like a bullet.
Q: What exactly do you do?
A: I slay inboxes, crush awkward small talk, and shoot straight when it comes to business. Whether itās closing deals or shutting down nonsense, Iām your huckleberry.
Q: Can I hire you for protection?
A: Only from bad branding, boring pitches, and outdated paper business cards. If itās actual danger, you better call someone with a badgeāor a lawyer.
Q: Whatās your hourly rate?
A: I donāt do hourly. I do legendary. My rate is "worth every penny," payable in cash, crypto, or a bottle of aged whiskey.
Q: Are you available for childrenās parties?
A: Only if the piƱata is an outlaw and thereās a root beer saloon. And even then, I donāt do balloon animals. I do drama.
Q: How fast is your draw?
A: Letās just say I once beat someone in a duel before they challenged me.
Q: Whatās your biggest weakness?
A: Puppies. And maybe karaoke. But mostly puppies.
2D Video Explainer
Press/Media
Events
Blog
Why I Donāt Use Business Cards ā I Just Shoot My Info Into the Air
Clients
Resume
Experience
Education
Property Listing
Reviews
Ready When You Are
Calendar
Menu
.jpeg)
